A few weekends ago, my extended family took on the task of helping my grandparents clean out the attic in their 100+ years old farm house. They started early on a Saturday morning and when I got to the house I could feel the tension spilling down from the attic. My dad and brother told me when I walked into the kitchen that it was best to not ask any questions and just do what I was told. What I was told to do was to move boxes of stuff from the third floor attic to the detached garage. As soon as I walked up to the attic, I sensed the tension between my mother and my grandmother as they were discussing what box was going into the trash and what was being kept. There was a definite difference in opinion, but my mother was also very respectful as the boxes in question were not hers, but her mother's. Fortunately as the day went on, we found some lost family gems that softened the mood, and laughter and some tears replaced the quiet bickering.
My grandparents were both born right before the depression into rural families. They are retired dairy farmers now and still own the farm and land that was once owned by my great-great grandparents. It is a farm rich in family history and for me many many wonderful childhood memories. The house that my parents raised me in and still live in sits right beside my grandparents farm and in fact was built by my great grandfather.
When I came home from the farm that day, dusty and dirty, I had some time to reflect on the day and my grandparents. My grandmother is a saver. While I wouldn't classify her as the type of hoarder that Oprah has had on her shows, she definitely is a saver. She has held on to many many things that family members felt probably should have been trashed years ago. As I was helping my grandparents, I wondered if her saving so much stuff was a reflection of the way she was raised. Long before there was such a thing as the "green movement", both of my grandparents lived the unspoken motto of "
use it up, wear it out, make-do, re-use and recycle...everything." Being dairy farmers they always had their own meat and dairy products. They had a large garden when I was growing up that unfortunately shrank as they got older. My grandmother always had a chest freezer that was stuffed with their garden harvest and she canned from her garden as well.
In the kitchen, she cooked and baked mostly from scratch. Not always, but mostly. And she did so with love. Leftovers were used up and eaten up, usually by my very hungry pap. She reused bread bags, food jars, and containers. She always sent leftovers home in re-used cool whip or margarine containers or mayonnaise jars. She never worried what number plastic the containers were, she used them anyways and back in the day there wasn't a number to look for.
My grandmother always shopped at yard sales, thrift stores or church rummage sales. She also frequents a local women's shop and occasionally a department store if the coupon and senior discount is right.
She would reuse the rinse water from her washing machine. Yep, you read that right. Before the water would drain after the rinse, she would remove the clothes, wring them out and hang outside to dry. She then put another load of clothes in the machine, turned it on and it would fill up only what it needed. She did this only with her clothes that were not that dirty, not my pap's 'barn' clothes. Did I mention that they were on a well, so they didn't pay for water?
My grandfather was just as resourceful. When I was growing up, he rode his bike everywhere he went when he was by himself. He told me once that he was "saving ecology" by riding his bike (that comment was made back in the late 80s', when green was just a color of every one's favorite m&m).
In the colder months, he would wear multiple layers of worn-out flannel shirts to keep warm rather than buy a new heavier shirt. My brother always liked to count how many shirts he was wearing, 4...5...6...7
Their old farm house was heated with a wood-stove in their cellar. The only room in the whole house with any type of heat was their upstairs bathroom with it's baseboard electric heater. It could get very cold in that house in the winter, they piled on the layers and the blankets. They got their wood for the stove from the land. To stay cool in the hot summers, they opened the windows - no AC for them.
No cable TV and they are avid PBS watchers and contributors.
They pay cash for everything.
They drive their cars for years. They get every last mile out of them that they can.
A few years ago my grandparents and my parents built 'in-laws' quarters, for lack of a better term, attached to my parents house. They are retired now and my parents can help them with any of their needs. It is a far cry from the old worn out farm house. They now have central heat and air and my pap doesn't have to keep the fire going in the winter. They also have cable and recently purchased a flat screen TV. Keep in mind that the one they had was a big old console TV that died a very slow death. They are enjoying for the first time, cable TV. The years of frugality have treated them well, but they are enjoying the new house.
They have lived their entire lives responsibly. It is how they still live now, lived 20 years ago, 40 years ago and over 60 years ago when they married. My grandparents are very frugal, BUT they are NOT cheap. They are two of the most generous people that I know. Generous with their time through volunteering and being active in their church. Generous with their family and friends who are in need of help, whether financially, emotionally or spiritually.
While my husband and I do have cable TV and I don't reuse the rinse water, I know that my grandparents have been an influence on me. They have been amazing role models for their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Frugality came naturally for them. I don't think it was a conscious effort, just they way they lived. It isn't always so natural for me, but when I'm preparing a meal for my family from scratch, hanging my laundry outside to dry, driving my car into 6 figure mileage, or throwing on another layer, I am striving to live frugally, simply and generously just like my grandparents.
I just have to promise myself not to fill up my attic with stuff so I'm not arguing with my kids 40 years from now.
Is frugality in your genes? Who are your role models in frugality? What lessons have you learned?
Thanks for reading FamilyBalanceSheet. If you don't already receive FBS free updates, please click here to sign up.
and unfortunately I forgot to take a shot when it was done roasting and before we dug into it. We devoured quite a bit of the chicken for dinner. I did have enough meat left over to make chicken salad for sandwiches for our lunches for the week. We really look forward to lunch when homemade chicken salad is on the menu.
I put the chicken bones in the crock pot with a whole onion, chopped into quarters. I didn't have whole carrots, so I threw a handful of baby carrots in the pot. I also added a whole head of garlic sliced in half, a few of the lemon slices from the roasting pan, a couple of celery stalks with leaves, cut into big chunks, a couple of bay leaves, a large handful of parsley sprigs, a few grinds of pepper and about a Tablespoon of salt. I didn't add too much salt, because I salted the roaster before popping in the oven. I filled the crock pot with water and turned it on LOW and left it on overnight.
The next morning when I came downstairs, my kitchen smelled so good and this is what I found. Sorry for the yellow glare.
